Resources

Category Archives: Healthy Relationships and Friendships

Connecting: Rewire Your Relationship-Culture

 So honoured that the incomparable Dini Petty wrote the forward to the book!

“This book would have made my journey shorter and easier. It will guide you through your family matrix, into dating in the modern world, how to spot relationship dysfunction from the start and finally lead you into healthy relationships and enduring marriages………if you wish to transform your life and your relationships, the path lies within these pages.”  Says Dini Petty about this book!

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You are doomed to repeat old family patterns and foist them onto the next generation unconsciously if you do nothing about the dysfunction carried with you from your family-culture. Left unanalyzed, your patterns will repeat and they will do damage. How your emotions play out in your relationships, how you behave in your relationships and how your relationships evolve are all a part of your relationship-culture.

Rewiring your relationship-culture involves understanding that your brain is an elegant machine that forms new neural pathways every time you develop a new way of doing something especially if you practice the new behavior often. It’s nature’s way of supporting us when we try to make good changes for ourselves.

By  rewiring your relationship-culture you will be able to:

  • Move past multi-generational dysfun13002421_575996619243673_658252682881430300_oction
  • Know and honour yourself fully
  • Understand the rules for dating in a healthy and empowering way
  • Spot relationship dysfunction from the start such as Codependency, Narcissism and Commitment Phobia
  • Set good boundaries for yourself
  • Understand the keys to healthy relationships with my pre-marital check list
  • Know the Fundamentals for Long-Term, Passionate Relationships!

This book is about becoming aware of what is not working with regard to what you inherited from your family-culture so that you can create a new, fully unique, personalized, choice-filled, healthy, mindful relationship-culture that you completely and consciously, bring into your adult relationships!

 

 

What Is “Relationship-Culture”?

Our relationship-culture lurks in every single one of us! If you do not analyze and process the family-culture in which you grew up, you are doomed to repeat old patterns. The very matrix of how you react to your dates, relationships, partners or spouses is embedded in your neural pathways, your reactions, your patterns and your ways of being. You have no choice but to play that matrix out in your life if you do nothing about it. Left unanalyzed, your patterns will repeat. Your relationship-culture is your external expression of your family-culture. How your emotions play out in your relationships, how you behave in your relationships and how your relationships evolve are all a part of your relationship-culture. The key is to know exactly what your relationship-culture is—the collection of repetitive patterns that may or may not be dysfunctional. Awareness is the key. Yet awareness alone can do nothing. More needs to happen for change to occur if change is needed. If the patterns that you inherited from your family-culture are dysfunctional and negatively impact your relationship-culture, then real change needs to happen lest you perpetuate the cycle of dysfunction in yourself and for generations to come. In this book, I discuss many ways for a person to do something concrete to effect change in response to any awareness that may arise. To effect real change and to create a new normal, a “rewiring” of the neural pathways associated with the relationship-culture needs to evolve. To be clear, this is not about throwing everything away that you learned from your family-culture. Please keep whatever is working and is functional and healthy. This book is about becoming aware of what is not working with regard to what you inherited from your family-culture so that you can create a new, fully unique, personalized, choice-filled, healthy, mindful relationship-culture that you now, completely and consciously, bring into your adult relationships.

 

Free Webinar! Dating in Modern World

Free Webinar! 11 am Friday Feb 13, 2015 Dating in Modern World: The Art of Navigating the Dating World in a Healthy and Empowered Way “Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who… Continue Reading

Parental Alienation: Devastating Consequences!

Transcribed from my video at youtube.com/askvictoria. N writes in about his “Malicious Mother” who alienated him from his father for 25 years. He is now in the process of reconnecting with this part of his family that he was deprived of. His mother now has amputated him, heartlessly! This tactic to seek revenge on the… Continue Reading

Question re: soul mates

Dear Victoria, I recently met someone who is becoming a very important part of my life.  I’ve never had such a strong connection with anyone before.  I know I’m not in love but I do care about him a lot.  I’m scared because I’ve never experienced this before. It’s been only two months and our… Continue Reading

Question re: estranged father

Hi Victoria, I recently reunited with my half brothers and sisters.  I haven’t seen them in over 10 years.  I was really happy to see them because we were really close growing up, but were separated when my father moved out of the country.  I haven’t spoken to him for almost 7 years, and seeing… Continue Reading

The Codependent Life and Relationship

Transcribed from my video at www.youtube.com/askvictoria. The over enmeshed relationship is often glorified in the media however it comes from a very unhealthy place. The over apologizing, low self esteem codependent finds themselves in unhealthy relationships for too long but unable to free themselves due to being extremely unfamiliar with who they really are. Profound… Continue Reading

Mastering The Art of Healthy Friendships

What draws us toward friends is usually a mystical chemistry that is brought on by mutual likes and dislikes, history, commonality of energy, and a dash of simpatico dust for good measure. There is usually a wonderfully long honeymoon period among friends that lasts until the first conflict at which point the navigation process begins… Continue Reading

Navigating the Labyrinth of a New Relationship

published in Tonic Magazine, October 2009 Picture this: You have met a new person recently and you are instantly “in love”. You want to spend all day and night with them. It feels as if you are drugged with this new person’s energy and you cannot get enough. You need your daily fix and will… Continue Reading

Why Are My Friends Always Letting Me Down?

Transcribed from my video at www.youtube.com/askvictoria. July 31, 2007 – 4:14 A viewer wrote in asking about why his friends were always letting him down. Inappropriate expectations are usually the downfall of relationships. It is important to place friends in the right category. I got an email from a viewer, and he posed the question,… Continue Reading

Should I leave her if she loves him more?

Transcribed from my video at www.youtube.com/askvictoria. A viewer asks whether or not he should stay in a relationship in which his girlfriend has admitted she loves someone else more. His self esteem and the lack thereof is the real issue. Today I’m answering a viewer question from ferryman36. You ask whether you should stay with… Continue Reading